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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Just laugh

Wow, I am turning into a person that I don’t know if I like. I mean it is great fun and all to be happy and have fun and not have pain on the inside of me for the first time in my life. It is great fun to be free. It is great fun to laugh and talk and just say random things throughout my day like, “I love my life.” But there are some tough things that come with it.

I know I have told you already about the voices that keep telling me bad things about myself whenever I act like “myself”. Today I noticed that fun and guilt are closely associated feelings in me. I was raised in a culture where fun was foolishness, frivolity and something that was not recommended. We had fun, but we felt guilty about it afterwards. Maybe I should say I had fun, but I felt guilty about it afterwards. Laughter and guilt are cousins. If I laugh, I can expect to feel guilty afterwards.

I do not want that to be my story though. I do not want to be wrapped up in insecurity about how I feel about myself. I do not want to feel guilty about something that is not a sin. I just remember I used to be told that the Bible never once says Jesus laughed; it says he wept, therefore laughter is something you should not do. It was severely unrecommended. So we laughed because it is really hard never to laugh, but then I felt guilty for doing it. Jesus may have never laughed, but he sure rejoiced! Scripture tells me to rejoice about 800 times. I reckon I am going to laugh a lot as I rejoice. My God is a God of joy. He is my source of joy. I will laugh.

I love my life. It is the very best. Last night I told someone what I have been thinking lately: I am a little girl from the middle of nowhere. I had no education. No love. No hope. I became a woman. I am living in the most amazing place on earth. I am blessed beyond reason in that I get to serve the most incredible people on this planet. I am in no way qualified for this life. That is how you know there is a God. I am here.

Okay, I might have made that a tiny bit longer here, but God is incredible. I came home and thought, “I have no business doing what I am doing.” Then I paused, and  it occurred to me, “Except that I must be about my Father’s business.” It’s my business because it is His business.

My God is greater. My God is stronger. God, You are higher than any other. Our God is Healer. Awesome in power. Our God, Our God. And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

When the seventy-two disciples returned, they joyfully reported to him, “Lord, even the demons obey us when we use your name!”

“Yes,” he told them, “I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning! Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. But don’t rejoice because evil spirits obey you; rejoice because your names are registered in heaven.”

At that same time Jesus was filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit, and he said, “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike. Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way. – Luke 10:17-21

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