Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.
I like my life. Honestly most of my day was a bummer. Something about this repressing the real emotions I am dealing with is making all the surface emotions swing back and forth like an irritating pendulum. But then I went and took care of babies and ran into another family I sit for on the street and my day entirely turned around. The 45-minute walk talking to God and just being at peace both ways might have helped, too.
I had a lot of insecurity and anxiety today. I am not sure why. I also did not go to God with it. I just made my time busy with stuff that mostly did not matter. Then I walked to work, and my attitude just changed. I am running away from God time again. I have not had “X time” in a really long time except on Saturdays. I do not feel like I have earned it or deserve it. I hate that I think I have to earn my time with God. I wonder if this is a problem that is common to all mankind or just me.
For some reason, I am trying to take control of my life again. Trying to do it myself without God. That will be a pointless endeavor.
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. – I Corinthians 13:12