For a few hours tonight I had blessed peace. It felt like everything in my world was absolutely at rest. Now I am feeling a little anxious again. I have been feeling anxious this evening before feeling restful in small group. I am worried about things I cannot control. Not even things in my life, but in other people’s. I guess I must care if I feel enough to care how other people’s lives turn out.
I rather wish there was something I could do to fix things. I guess I would like to be God if only for a moment. But if I was God, I could not worship Him. Isn’t that the whole purpose of my existence?
There is a series of messages at my church about waiting and what to do while we are waiting for God to fulfill promises in our lives. The times when there is a new normal. The times when we are stuck. I have been thinking about it. I am thinking either my whole life is “in the meantime” or none of my life is. If I worship only my God and no idols, then my circumstances have little affect on my life experience because it is all about my relationship with Him and experiencing Him in all parts of my life. So put this way, there is no in the meantime because all of life is equally about Him. On the flip side, if the whole hope of my existence is at some point to be joined with Him in perfect unity in heaven, then my whole life is in the meantime because I await that day with eager expectation. So those are my thoughts on that.
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. – I Corinthians 13:12
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