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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

I want to quit

How honest shall I be? Life sucks. Not like life life like Jesus gives us, but like life on earth like what we have to go through till we get to the other side. Do you suppose there will ever be another side to my pain? Many times I do not believe it. Today I am just bitter. Do you know why? So I do not have to cry. Not in a good mood, not had a good day is an understatement. Not well. May I quit?

Today the prospect of quitting actually seems plausible. Imagine a life in which I had quit. It seems deceptively good. People would pay me. I would actually have something called “benefits”. I could not even care less what the “benefits” were. They just sound good. Think of a job where people would once again think what I did was cool or give me at least some respect for my brain power. Yeah, some days suck. Today sucked.

Odd how this is one more temptation to fall, or is it? That I would have to quit both of the things I believe God has called me to in order to have a job is not a sin, right? God must know I have to eat. Would you know this is not even what I am bitter about! It goes way deeper than that.

They keep telling me some day there is another side. I really have given up believing them. Why should I? They do not have my story. I am so tired of R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y! What if I did something stupid just once? I know. I know. My life is supposed to be motivated by love, not selfishness. Well, look at it this way. Love is what is keeping me from doing any of those stupid things. It would hurt my people. I do not want to hurt my people. Otherwise, I would be sunk right now. May I quit?

I WANT TO QUIT. EVERYTHING.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. – Galatians 6:9

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