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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

I want to know Him

One thing about it the more time I spend with God, the more time I want to spend with God. X time is over? What if I don’t get up? What if I just stay here? What if I just spent my whole day with God? Can I truly say I love Him if I do not want to know Him?

I wondered today if it was possible to be forgiven for something I have not taken responsibility for. How could I ask forgiveness or receive it if I still thought I had done nothing?

I took part of today off as a sabbath. It is amazing how even with x time, I still need a sabbath. I sort of thought if I just spent time each day, I would not need a whole day to rest.

Today I confessed to an amazing person I have to get up early every morning to have that time with God because otherwise I would lose my sobriety in a heartbeat. Mentally at first and physically soon after. The blood of the Lord Jesus Christ cleanses me from all sin.

I began the step 4 homework today. I am a bit afraid. I am also excited. This week is the only softball lesson in the entire book – why do we need a sponsor? Then on to the big leagues of self-examination and confession. I am excited because every time I have done this it has been worth it.

I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! – Philippians 3:7-11


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