How was my recovery today? Do I owe anyone an amends? Honestly, yes. I have not caught up making amends yet. I am working through several years of having to make amends with people after all.
Today has been an emotional roller coaster. I have gone from being super excited about school and the direction I am headed in life to being so overcome with fear that I just put my head in my hands and sobbed. It has been a good day.
I am actually a bit afraid (you know, the head in the hands sobbing sort of afraid) of a conversation I am planning on having tomorrow. It definitely fits into the making amends category. It definitely fits into the stepping out of denial category. For someone who was abused, it definitely fits into the “I’m finding my voice” category. I may be shaking, but I am learning to speak.
There is really only one thing I think that got me through my day. I bought a song on iTunes and listened to it over 65 times and sang with it a lot! God of the Impossible by Everfound. That is what got me through my day. There is not one lyric in that song that does not apply to my life right now. I absolutely need a God of the impossible right now. I am so thankful that I have one!
Here I am, Lord, send me! You are the God of the impossible!
God of the Impossible Just a boy with a sling and a stone, But the heart of a lion dared him to go. To hear the sound of the cynical, Die out with the sound of the giant’s fall.
Empty bones and a thirsty soul, Dreaming for more than the life I have known. ‘Til I tasted a burning coal, And my guilt was erased, and my sin was atoned!
I dare to believe in incredible things. Cause you’re the God of the impossible.
I dare to believe in incredible things. I’m ready to go, I’m ready to go.
Here I am! Lord send me! I won’t look back, cause I was made To be a part of the impossible! You’re God of the impossible!
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