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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Hurting but Hoping

I hate the days I feel like I struggled all day. In Joyce Meyer’s words, “I may not be where I need to be, but I thank God I am not where I used to be.”

The war rages on the inside. It has definitely given me more freedom to realize that my vertical relationship with God determines my worth and value. My horizontal relationships are important for many reasons, including the enjoyment of me and those around me. Today I had to remind myself of this constantly. Perhaps because I mostly worked on data entry and research all day. That can give me time to overthink almost anything. If there is a doubt somewhere in the back of my brain about anything, it is bound to surface.

As I worked on my computer, I listened to a message by Sheila Walsh, who made the following observation. To paraphrase: How would you feel if you were invited to church and instead of the normal message, it was decided everyone was going to watch a movie of your life? Not a movie with only the good parts, but one that revealed your thoughts, motives, greatest weakness, greatest sins, greatest flaws. God has already seen that movie, and He loves you anyway. He loves you even while He knows every single secret you would never want to share with anyone.

I found it an amazing and encouraging thought. One I want to meditate and think on as I prepare for bed and throughout my weekend. God loves me, completely.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. – 1 John 4:16


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