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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Growing apart

Today I got in touch with an old friend. It was so awkward. The last couple times we have touched bases it has been really odd. I wonder if she changed or I did. I know I am changing. Sometimes it seems like I am an entirely new person each week. My perspective changes as I accept God’s truth. My experiences change as I face my fears. My feelings change as I open my heart to love. Why cannot all my friends change with me? It would save the awkward.

As I walked home tonight, I left myself feel sad. After all, I was. I talked to God about it. I like growing, but I hate it when a relationship becomes a casualty because we no longer understand each other. We will still be friends; the relationship will just be so different. We are making different choices and going different ways. It is hard to go different ways together.

I am grieving so many things right now. I am learning how to be sad and not run away from it. I do not really enjoy it, but I realize it is the way I should feel about certain things. Feeling sad is okay. Apparently a natural part of the healing process is to feel sad I need to heal. I am learning to be okay with it and embrace it.

In the midst of my sadness, I thanked God more genuinely than I ever have for the changes in me and the people around me who helped Him facilitate the change. I also started formulating a list in my head of people I want to thank for being a real friend and a part of this amazing change in me. I thought about texting them, but thought this one ought to be done in person.

In everything the prudent acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly. – Proverbs 13:16

I am so glad I stumbled across wise people and somehow found the courage to dig in my heals and stay. I needed courage because I needed a lot of humbling in order to become willing to change. I am so glad I made the momentarily painful decision to be teachable.

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. – Proverbs 13:20

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