Jesus, precious Lamb of God, worthy is Your Name. Yes, it is good to end this day in worship. So many thoughts in my head. So much love in my life. Such a different person than I was ten years ago. My God is a miracle worker. He is more than I could ever dream. I am thinking of the many incredible verses in Scripture where God tells me to rejoice and be glad. For so long I entirely forgot about them. I was too busy listening to His other commands to bother with something so trivial as my mood and attitude.
This afternoon was really, really hard. I am not sure why. I was with people. Usually things are good with people, but something about the situation just was not working out for me. I have no idea why. It was similar to a situation I struggled in last week. Something about the position of my heart is not right. Something about the way I am interacting with this situation is not right. I am not sure what my wrong motive is. Pride? Arrogance? Fear?
Anyway, this morning was super sweet. This fast has been so amazing. One of the things I have been praying is for Him to fill me with Him. “God, I desire only You.” It is the amazing thing about being hungry. The hunger in my body reflects the hunger in my spirit for only Him. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they will be filled. I am so filled. It is such a huge change to wake up in the morning with a thankful heart instead of a morning complaint.
There is a song I learned when I was first saved that went: Greater, greater, greater is He in me. // I’m singing. I’m shouting. I’m happy and I’m free. // Because in an army that never has known defeat. // Greater, greater, greater is He in me.
How cannot I be joyful knowing my God has a spotless record of victory? How cannot I rejoice as the Thursday night step study is winding up with the proof that God powerfully changes people. Man, but He has changed me!
I was just thinking before sitting down to write that the Spirit is like liquid love. He pours into me until I just overflow. I bubble over like a giddy teenager in love, and I am loving every moment of it.
Purify me from my sins,c and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me— now let me rejoice. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spiritd from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach your ways to rebels, and they will return to you. Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness. Unseal my lips, O Lord, that my mouth may praise you. – Psalm 51:7-15