I had another good day. I am starting to sound like a broken record to myself, but it is true. I am living my dream life right now. My new job is working really well. I love it. It looks like it is the answer to unasked prayers. I generally was not praying for God to find a new way for me to make money. He found one for me I loved. Just dropped it in my lap. I don’t really expect God to do things like that for me. I am amazed that He is.
I started my second novel today. It was so exciting. I also researched a new computer. It is time for a new computer, so I can carry it anywhere and work. My current laptop has more or less become a desktop.
God has changed me so much in the last few months. It is really incredible. When I think of all the bitterness and anger I lived in three or four months ago, it seems like a complete waste of time and energy. Why would I ever do that? Why would I give people who hurt me such a large part of my brain and day? Recently when I think of the same pain caused by the people I was angry with, I pray for them. The prayer is genuine. I am sorry they hurt me. I am sorry they make the choices they do. But it is not my responsibility; it is theirs.
One of the tools I use to help me not live a codependent life is journaling something like this:
I love _so and so_. God loves _so and so_ more than I love _so and so_. I can trust God with _so and so_.
It is not my responsibility to change people. It is only my responsibility to love them. I am really thankful for that. I could never lead a recovery group if I needed to change anyone there.
As I walked to small group tonight, I was so glad I have a future to look forward to. It has not always been that way.
The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. – John 10:10
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