There is so much I wanted to tell you tonight, but I cannot remember any of it. My goal bedtime is 36 minutes from now. I still have 30 minutes of things besides this to do, so I would not expect to hear all the awesome things from my day right now. This morning I was not feeling like praising God as I did the housework for the family I sit for. I am almost to the fully romantic part of the fast where I am so close to the fast ending that going without gets seen with rose-colored glasses, but I am not quite there yet. I asked God to fill my lips with praise today. When I remember to do that, it totally changes my whole experience of being hungry. I have just had such joy rise up in me with that simple prayer.
I thought about the difference between thinking of others as better than ourselves out of people pleasing versus self-loathing versus low self-esteem versus sacrifice. I figured the latter is why God wants us to put others first. That was a good thought.
Otherwise I had a lot of peace today. I just woke up and challenged one of my friends, “What would this day look like if we lived it for Jesus alone?” Then I answered that question for myself, and God helped me do a whole lot of editing/writing.
Also He really helped me forgive more today. He has just been really speaking to me about some of my relationships. Making honest amends is so good. By honest amends, I mean amends where my heart has been changed (I have taken steps 6-8 before jumping to 9) before I say something with my lips I do not feel.
Now if my God and Savior will go before me tomorrow… Well, He already has. All I have to do is trust Him. All I have to do is wake up, follow God for one day and go back to bed. It really is such a wonderfully simple life when I live it like that.
Oh, the other thing I have realized is I still really struggle with feeling guilt over having fun and playing. Ugh. A conversation for a later time. Remember that goal bedtime?
He is, and there is none like Him!
Oh, one last thing. The Tuesday night step study is about six months behind the Thursday night one. About six months ago, I wrote down three goals for the next 90 days. Because we went over that lesson tonight, I got to see those goals. God blew all three of them out of the water in the last six months. Wow! Three months ago, I was still really in the struggle with them. Now, God worked a miracle!
Love the LORD, all you godly ones! For the LORD protects those who are loyal to him, but he harshly punishes the arrogant. So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the LORD! – Psalm 31:23-24