My day was another day of continued rest. I had a lot of peace. This afternoon as I played with the darling babies I babysit, I had a fantastic time worshiping Jesus with some good worship music. I especially love days like this because I do not have them so often. It is historically hard for me to just let the things I cannot control go and trust God will take care of them. I wonder why it is hard to trust God with things we cannot control anyway? Even by our own admission.
At my unCelebrate Recovery dinner group tonight, we discussed submission. One of the questions was, “Is there something about how God loves you that you can learn from your struggle to submit?” We had already discussed how Biblical submission is not submitting to an authority figure or someone with greater power, but it is putting the hopes, dreams and desires of someone else before our own.
As I contemplated this, it occurred to me. Jesus (God) submitted (put our hopes, dreams and desires ahead of His own ease and comfort) to us when He came to earth as a baby dependent on human care and eventually crucified by human hands. If God, if my dearest Jesus can serve me on that level, how do I dare not serving others?
When I answered that question verbally tonight, I prefaced it with saying I may be just about to commit theological suicide if there is such a thing. Like somehow I was defying God to say even tentatively, “God submitted to me when…”
Why would He do this? I know the Scriptures say, “For God so loved the world…” Some days my love does not even wash someone else’s dishes. Can I truly comprehend a love like His?
Some days when I give my tithe, I think, “God, really, this, too? Don’t you have enough? What if I won’t have enough?” Tonight as I think about how much He has given me and how often I complain about giving Him some things, I feel really sad and really small.
My pastor taught a series on being Fearless a couple years ago. I listened to it today. In it, he says, “You need to stop running from it and in those moments when you feel small, you need to embrace the reality that you are small. And He is really, really big.” Fear God. Tonight I am really, really small.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16