My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but humbly trust in Jesus’ name. On Christ the solid Rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand. God is so good to me today. For so long I was waking up in the morning to the realization of the devastation that had happened in my life. Now when that happens, I am flooded with joy because I realize that I am also finally free! The freedom came with an enormous price, but I personally am free. There are many people in bondage that I am praying for, but I am free. I am sad that I am no longer able to be in communion with them, but I am free. There is sorrow that they are in bondage and joy that I am finally free.
Remember the blog post I wrote a few years ago about denying my pain during a fast? Right now I am trying my best not to do that. I am hungry. I have never cheated on a fast knowingly. Occasionally I have gotten the time the sun was rising or setting that day wrong and broken it early or late accidentally. But today I told God I wanted to eat. I don’t want to wait another hour! Then I remembered the fast from a few years ago and how I would drown the pain of my hunger with anything but God. Tonight I was tempted to just put on a TV show to try to zone out until I could eat, but that is so not the purpose of fasting! I am doing more than praying, but I am working to not zone out, but to talk to God about it instead. The pain of my fast should be a direct connecting point to God not something to run away from. My, but I am so hungry! Joy. Unspeakable joy. Gratitude. Never-ending gratitude.
But Peter and John replied, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to listen to you rather than God. – The Acts of the Apostles
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