top of page
  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Fine. If I am going to be in a battle, I’ll fight.

This past Sunday at church the message at church was about celebrating, but before that it was about how the battles we fight in life are a bit never-ending, so we should stop to celebrate God as often as possible. I really didn’t feel like I could relate to the message. I was like okay, so whatever. The battle isn’t never-ending, there are all kinds of different battles. Everyday is a new day with a new fight or at least every week or month has a new one.

However, tonight in small group one of the first things one of the girls who has known me for like six months asked was “Laura, were you the person the pastor was talking about?” I was like what are you talking about? He never talked about me. She said, “The email he got from someone at the beginning of the message. About how her fight never ended. etc. etc.” I was like huh? She was like, “It fit you perfectly.” So apparently the message applied to me on Sunday. :)

I still don’t know if I think so. I have as many victories as battles. I feel like I have more victories than battles, which is probably impossible. The last nine months or so of this blog were awful-ish, but the last two weeks I have been quite a cheery believer in Jesus. What’s not to love? I am so thankful for a small group who loves me even when I get entirely disillusioned and show up saying things like, “I think if God loved us He should have killed Adam and Eve and taken care of all this pain from the beginning.” Me, fight battles? If you insist.

Today I started writing again. I think for the first time since I started this blog. It felt so good to pull out something creative and just write. I only managed 2,500 words. But for having to reorient myself to the outline and read what I had already written for the first time in a year, I was pretty happy.

Going back to the battle conversation, I have been thinking a lot about battles in the last two weeks because of the series at church. I do fight a lot in battles. I know that. I have been thinking about how glad I am that my weapons are not my logic, my education, my strength, my energy, my talents, my resources, my power, my control or even my time.

There are four powerful weapons I can think of. Prayer, fasting, the Word of God, and faith. Now this is no doctrinal statement. A doctrinal statement would have to include the helmet of salvation and the breast plate of righteousness, the sandals of peace and the belt of truth. Learning the Word of God is a weapon that has transformed my battle to the point that the battle from 10 years ago has entirely changed. God has used fasting in my life to break strongholds entirely unrelated to food or what I was praying for. Fasting has changed my sexuality. Prayer naturally goes with fasting. That is a mighty weapon. The very highest quality. Then there is faith – just stubbornly believing God when life looks impossible.

Right now that is my entire strategic war plan. I have none other. I have no answers to any of my questions or solutions to my problems. But I have the weapons. I am going to fast, pray, read the Word and believe. That is my life plan, game plan, battle plan and strategic ministry plan. I have nothing but Jesus, but the Word says all the powers and principalities are going to bow at His name, so I have everything.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; – 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. – Ephesians 6:10-18


bottom of page