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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Fill me up

Saturday – 11:30 pm

I spent the morning and early afternoon entirely exhausted. I really do not know what it is with me lately, but I feel really exhausted sometimes. I cannot think that I am lacking sleep. I know sometimes I am lacking time with God, but I do not feel like that should be true of the last couple weeks. Maybe I am just misestimating the time I think is necessary or profitable to spend talking to God without multitasking.

I am not sure why I would try to limit this or figure this out anyway instead of just spend more time with Him. If it wouldn’t be for the example of amazingly effective witnesses for Jesus like Martin Luther and David Wilkerson, who spent hours a day with God, I would entirely explain away spending more than a few brief moments a day only talking to God. The goal-oriented, “success”-driven American within me would not see the value in it very easily. It is the stories of those who have gone before that remind me I can only live an effective life for Him if I spend time alone with Him.

I suppose that and the fact I have no peace or quiet without spending time with Him. None whatsoever. Without one on one time with my Maker I am an anxiety attack waiting to happen. Oh, but I love Jesus tonight.

I went to a party tonight. It was so nice. I never talked about work or CR or recovery all night long. It was entirely amazing. I reckon God used it to fill my cup just a little. I have decided I should do this much more often. So refreshing!

So here I am tonight writing about recovery. I suppose I do not mind too much. I am not sure what to do about the unexplained exhaustion. Add some one on one time with God at noon? Sleeping is not helping. I had an opportunity to sleep off any weariness today and though exhausted was too rested to sleep. It seems to be a different kind of tired.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

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