How did I even make it through this day? I had at least three emotionally exhausting experiences today. Four if you count Open Share at CR. I think that counts. After the second, I cried. After the fourth, I wanted to cry. But right now, I am too tired to cry.
I should premise this conversation by saying I am so tired right now I feel drunk. I haven’t had a drink in days, so that is not the issue.
I really love the journey I am on. I am enjoying this experience, but I am so emotional. My pain feels so raw. I am not sure when it started to be this way, but it was at least when the step study started. I am taking comfort that I am going through this process with other people and have their support and comradery as we experience this together. Jesus is, of course, the super coolest; but it is really comforting to know others are experiencing similar emotions on this journey.
I have started to share the more embarrassing specifics of some of my troubles and current pains in small group. It is cool to have people love me through it. It is somewhat embarrassing to admit. Okay, it is really hard to talk about these things.
I am so glad God is my creator and knows how to fix me.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. – Psalm 139:13-16
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