I am really grateful for my God. I am becoming thankful for where His Spirit has led me though typing those words did bring a mild pain to my heart. His love for me is pretty crazy big. If I quit thinking life was all about me, my whole life my get easier. So much of my life is an internal experience even if so little of my life is about me if I follow Jesus. I think what I mean to say is no matter how selfless I would become, I would still experience life through me because I am me and I cannot escape myself. That must be one of the least profound statements anyone has ever made.
I am continuing to catch up on rest. My God is faithful. I think half of my battle with weariness comes from being worried about whether I will get enough rest. The other half comes from worrying about all the things I need to do. Then there is the half that comes from worrying about what God has called me to do. And the half that worries about what I have already done (generally written, but often also said). Most of my weariness comes from me being unwillingly to let go and let God. If I choose not to worry, I would have an entirely different life. Sometimes I tell myself I will quit worrying a few months from now when this or when that happens. I always find something new to worry about by then though.
It occurred to me tonight that I cannot learn to be content in all circumstances if I do not actually live in all circumstances.
And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:19
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