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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Coping

I had a major breakthrough in step study this evening. Some parts of life entirely change when you share them with your step sisters! They get it. Sometimes I just need someone to get it.

I thought about the inside versus the outside a lot today. There was a time in my life when I was a “good Baptist girl”. The outside was pristine. Sure, I was quiet, but I am not sure beyond having a lack of communication skills if anyone thought anything about it. I felt real broken and was a disaster on the inside. Then when I actually went through healing, the outside became a disaster while the inside got fixed. Anyways, just a thought.

I rested well today. I actually feel almost like I am on vacation. Generally productive all day long, but in a very restful sort of way with permission to take any needed naps. Tonight I talked to someone about my writing schedule. It is going to be hard to take the rest of the week off even though I know I need it! I need to live in the moment just a bit more and not freak out about self-imposed deadlines. Or ones that I feel like God wants me to make.

In some ways I did better than yesterday in my conversation with God. In some ways I did worse. Yesterday I was feeling really humble about an amends conversation I am planning. Today I was like “What? Why should I make amends? I ain’t the one who did the most wrong!” Yeah, so not like Jesus though I suppose Jesus never had to make amends since He never did anything wrong, but I digress.

The struggle is definitely with God.

See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. Do not scoff at prophecies, but test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. Stay away from every kind of evil. – I Thessalonians 5:15-22

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