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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Commitment: it’s a commitment

Have you ever wondered what happened to the poor widow who gave everything? I have been wondering about it. It is one of those stories I wish God would have finished. Then she went home and lived happily ever after…. or Then she went home and curled up into a ball and died….. You know, something for us to go on. What happened next?

I have to learn how to stand up for myself! I have been noticing this again this week. It is time to start being a big girl and stand up for myself and what I believe. I feel like I am either slipping in this area or being stagnant. I always relate whether I am being assertive in normal, healthy ways with how I am interacting with my abusive past. If I quit dealing with that, I quit dealing with everything. Why is it so hard??

That sort of sums up my day. I did struggle a lot with not wanting to totally shut down emotionally. I often struggle with this before large group. God does amazing things around me and I get intimidated! I am struggling to process emotions in my life right now because I am finally learning commitment. I used to just run away when something finally got good. Part of it was because once I learned how to do the job, I got bored. Part of it was I was scared of good things.

But now I am committed. What is it like to be committed and experience good things at the same time? I don’t know. I don’t think I have ever been committed to something good. I always run from that. I guess I will learn exactly how scary true love is for the rest of my life.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11


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