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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Changed

I started the homework for my new step study this morning. It is a bit weird because I cannot think of any area of my life that I am in denial about except this blog. I know there are for sure one or two people who may read this blog occasionally. I pretend like no one does. It is called denial when you know the truth and choose not to believe it.

Last night I went over the answers from my first step study (which was unfinished) almost two years ago. It is odd how everything stays the same, yet everything has completely changed. Yes, in a very broad sense, I am still working on all the same issues – trusting men, trusting Christians, trusting authority, and trusting people. But it looks so different now.

Two years ago when I answered the question about what areas of my life I am beginning to step out of denial, I oddly enough wrote down about beginning to be willing to step into leadership positions in my life instead of always refusing them. My first job I held where there was an opportunity to be a leader, they tried to get me to be one. I refused to step into any type of leadership role even without the promotion. I was way too scared and insecure for that. Even if I knew I knew the job better than anyone else on the team, I would hang in the background and be as quiet as a mouse except when I was talking.

It was odd to see that answer last night. I have more or less worked through my issues of assuming any type of leadership role in the last two years. Naturally I did it like everything else in life seems to need to be done, I did it afraid. Lisa Bevere has said that God pushed her to the point of diarrhea in her ministry. Thanks for sharing, Lisa. Me, too!

Tomorrow is my sabbath. I don’t feel like doing nothing and resting. I have so much I would like to get done. Besides last Saturday was just here. How did this one get here so quickly?

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. – 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

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