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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Can’t get enough

I know who goes before me. I know who stands behind. The God of angel armies is always by my side.

You ever have one of those days where you do not know how you are going to make it? I have no idea how I am going to make it through the next 10 days. The reason I don’t know how I am going to make it is I have no idea how I am going to have x time this week. You know what I discovered last week? I need x time! X time will get me through anything. So I am currently mentally prioritizing what i can leave undone in order to spend sufficient time with God this week. I wouldn’t have made it without Him.

Church this morning was amazing; but by the time church crowd was gone and the CR crowd remained, I was so emotionally at the end of my rope. I really didn’t have the strength to answer one more person’s “Hi, how are you?” with a “It goes.” or “Life’s not boring.” or “I’m here.” I was just desperate to get to say, “It’s been a really tough week.” without feeling like I was ruining someone’s morning. I was thinking about it afterwards. It is one of the special things about CR. One doesn’t have to explain a bad week to be understood and one is not pitied because one has had one. We just be. We just are. Sometimes life sucks. We don’t have to explain it. Knowing and being known is awesome.

Now I am going to go and have evening x time though I missed full noon x time. Honestly, I feel like I am starving. I may be becoming a God-addict. I have been thinking about that lately. I have at least some of the symptoms. The more I have, the more I need to satisfy me. The more I know Him, the more I want to know Him. If I went without Him, there are withdrawal symptoms. Because they would come in the form of anxiety attacks, I think I would be physically shaking by noon if I missed morning x time. Though previous addictions never fulfilled me, this one never leaves me empty. It always delivers much more than I expected it to. Instead of weeping, loneliness and regret, it produces joy and peace and love.

Here is another illustration Jesus used: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed planted in a field. 32It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of garden plants; it grows into a tree, and birds come and make nests in its branches.” – Matthew 13:31-32


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