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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Called into being by God

Tuesday – 11:11 pm

Today I spent much of the day excited when I thought about the new roles in my life. For so long I had been scared because I thought I was going to have to start walking this journey alone. It turns out I am going to be walking it with some really amazing people.

Today I was excited nearly every time I thought about the formerly dreaded meeting with my pastor tomorrow. Sometimes I had to work on allowing myself to be excited because a part of me was scared that if I was excited, then surely this would be the time something terrible would happen. But most of the time I was excited for the brainstorming and critical thinking the meeting would contain.

We had a really challenging message on Sunday where we were presented with the question, “Are you willing to fail like Jesus failed [in order to spend time in the presence of His Father]?” And stemming from that question, “What will you have to fail at in order to be present with God (and to follow in a way where you do what He asks)? Oddly, at least to myself, I answered this question as if I had already lived the next two months of my life.

Tonight on the way home from unCR small group, I thought about the various aspects of life that had been discussed and the questions that had been raised about where God might be leading us. I posed the question to myself, “What does following God look like?” In light of all the questions raised and their somewhat difficult answers, “I don’t know,” I said. “I have no idea.” I continued the conversation with myself and said, “If you have no idea, then how do you do it?” “I just take the next step,” I said, “It is really simple. I just take the next step.” I am really thankful I just have to take the next step.

There was also another interesting quote on Sunday. To paraphrase, “The God who called you into being, longs for your presence; and He deserves it.” That does not match my worldview. I do not view myself as having been called into being by God. I have always thought of myself as a circumstance, a happenstance and a colossal disappointment to those who did call me into being. I think viewing myself called into being by God, which He did, would entirely change the way I relate to myself and everyone around me and everyone I am related to. Called into being by God. I like it. I could get used to believing He created me, not just Adam and Eve.

And if I was called into being by God, wouldn’t my only purpose be to exist for His purpose?

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. – Psalm 139:13-16

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? – Matthew 16:24-26

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