Monday – 12:04 AM
Things I am learning: I will never be enough, so there is no point in trying to be. But somewhere in all this emotional mess of life, God is enough. Well, I suppose He is enough in it everywhere. He provides for me completely.
Over the last couple days I have begun a close reading of the epistles of Paul to discover all the hints I can as to how he managed to be burned up instead of burned out. What was his secret? I started with reading the passage about all the things he went through. Then I started with Romans 1.
So far all I know is he served with his whole heart. I suppose living with one’s whole heart would help avoid burnout. What is burnout anyway? When stress outweighs rewards? Then wouldn’t burnout only occur in places where we are not giving to God? Because the reward of pouring myself out for God is a deeper, closer walk with Him. Pouring myself out for Him in ways that four years ago I would have thought were lunatic-y, has only led to a relationship with Him that has changed me into a person who is actually not mean and entirely scared into isolation.
So it would stand to reason then that time with God would be the antidote for burnout. Because if the reward is a closer relationship with God, then quitting spending time with Him would eliminate the reward. Hmmm. I may tell you more about that in a few weeks after I have made it through the epistles.
Come and consume us our hearts are Yours!
I made mistakes today. I am proud of myself for making mistakes because the mistakes I made were made because I was trusting people instead of overthinking the situation. I am really excited to celebrate having trusted people enough to not think about what I am doing and how I am looking all the time!
God, whom I serve with my whole heart in preaching the gospel of his Son, is my witness how constantly I remember you in my prayers at all time; and I pray that now at last by God’s will the way may be opened for me to see you. – Romans 1:9