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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Breaking free

12:37 am – Saturday

Life is definitely beyond me. God is definitely growing me. I am glad for the things He is talking to me about, but it is hard to be in this part of my growth. Today I took a short nap, but I never fell asleep. Instead as I relaxed and my brain also relaxed, I went over a conversation I will soon be having in my head. I am really afraid of this conversation, so I couldn’t really imagine it going well. By the end of my nap, I wasn’t sleeping and tears were sliding down my cheeks.

I like this part of my life because a breakthrough is bound to happen any time now. I cannot be going through all this muck for nothing. I am just afraid I am going to start shaking and crying during conversations. I do not want to do that. I want to learn how to be humble and retain my pride at the same time. I realize what I just wrote.

There is another thing going on in my life. God is taking someone who was too scared to stand up for herself and putting her in a position where she can only choose to stand up for others. It is growing me immensely. Maybe someday, I will be strong enough in my confidence in Jesus to stand up for myself.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. – Philippians 2:3-4


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