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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Bookended with prayer

Today had a lot of potential. It also happened to live up to its potential. It was a very emotional day. Yesterday and today were both set aside for writing creatively. Yesterday I never managed to even open the document. Today I managed to do so and write 2,200 words.

The subject matter is in one of my areas of temptation. As I began to do some research on Google this morning, I knew I was setting myself up for potential disaster. I texted a friend and got myself an accountability partner for the day to keep my thoughts and heart pure.

Even with this precaution, it was a draining day. Facing such strong emotions is exhausting. Apparently it is exhausting even if the people are imaginary! I did a lot of praying throughout. I also had to break to listen to something cheerful and hopeful every now and then. I am on the really prerecovery side of the imaginary people’s story right now, so remembering people recovery is really important to my sanity.

When I finished with a scene, I had an hour before I had to leave for my evening job. I was feeling pretty vulnerable, so I decided to devote the time to God. It saved my evening. By the time I arrived at work, I was quite revitalized. It is sad to think my schedule is about to go crazy for a little while. I don’t think I will have time to write, but I am glad I have learned what seems to be an effective strategy for protection. Bookend it with prayer and sprinkle it all over the middle, too. Even then it was exhausting emotionally and spiritually.

I ended the day on a high enough note to come home singing the “Great I Am” and wanting to jump up and down as I did it, but I figured that would make my downstairs neighbor much less than excited. So I spared him the jumping.

I think I have entirely started to ramble now in an attempt to say something. I feel no need to say anything because in spite of the day being hard, I just feel healed tonight. The most painful part of my day was the first few hours when I had to live and pray my way back into trusting God with my finances. I dreamed last night that another family member and I ended up broke at my grandparents’ house. Momentarily, I took my focus off God even if I knew it was a dream. My God is my Provider.

Now I better spend some time with God because just reflecting this much on how hard the hard part of today was regarding my writing, I feel the attack. Oh, God, help me!Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? … But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. – Matthew 6:25, 33-34

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