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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Awkward

I am sort of nervous about being this new me. I find it a bit awkward. I have always been awkward, but it is a new kind of awkward. It feels awkward to be awkward in a new way. It is kind of awkward. I wrote another 2,400 words in my novel today. I am on target to hit my goal this month. That makes me happy.

So did I succeed at the church office? Well, it was mostly awkward. The new kind of awkward, so that is awkward progress. I did spend a portion of today just being nervous over the changing me. The new me is kind of scared a little, and she would like to climb into the old her. But the old her is gone and nowhere to be found, so I will have to be the new me.

Someone mentioned to me today that I am more than a conqueror. It is a little weird because it has made me think about what my role in this fight is. Now I am more than a conqueror through Christ who loves me. It is through Christ. It is not on my own.

I have been working step 1 in my Tuesday night step group. Honestly, I am down to two things I can control in life – whether I follow Him and whether I live in the Spirit. I had just sort of been in a thought process that God was doing the conquering and I was following Him. Any conquering I do is because I was staying close beside Him. Technically in the context of the verse, it seems the conquering being done has to do with whether anything will separate me from His love. Nothing me can separate me from God’s love. Now I am off to bed because I am way to tired to think about such things.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,k neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:31-39

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