Today has been a really long day. I woke up early. I always do on Mondays. It is my early morning for work. I never took a nap today, so it really has been a very long productive day. Oddly enough, it was emotionally very pleasant. Extremely pleasant. I am pretty overwhelmed right now, but it is a good overwhelmed. I rather like it. In fact, I do not think I want to go to sleep just yet because I may wake up in a different mood. I do not want a different mood.
God is consistently showing me I cannot control my life. None of it is within my control. I get to trust and obey. I do believe there is a great deal of trust in my life. Either that or I am just crazy, but I think it feels like trust. I once heard someone say that if you wondered if you were crazy then you weren’t crazy because crazy people don’t wonder if they are crazy because they are too busy being crazy. Something like that anyway.
So it must be trust. God keeps loving and affirming me. I like it. It makes me feel incredibly special. I like feeling special. I really, really like feeling special.
I wonder if I will ever understand life is about Him and not me? In heaven I am going to and until then I am willing to keep learning. What more can I want?
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.” – Mark 10:29-31