God is good all the time. So cliche. Technically true. I suppose it doesn’t take getting technical for it to be true. I feel like I should have an enormous amount to say tonight. Like there should be deep insightful things to say about my life. I have had a very interesting day. Full of drama from beginning to end-ish. The drama, of course, all being in my head and heart. I am tired, and I am freer. I am beginning to spend time in Romans 1. Good thing I spent time in Romans 8 first. I feel like spending a lot of time in Romans 1-3 could really scare me else!
Tomorrow I break a fast. I think this is the least hard fast I have ever done. I am not sure what I have learned through this experience. I don’t wish it had been harder, but I wish I would have engaged the pain more and allowed it to draw me closer to God. I feel like this time I just tried to avoid the pain and ignore it – be in denial that it existed.
I think God gave me a wonderful breakthrough today. I am struggling to stay out of bitterness though. To not become angry again. He knows the plans He has for me. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me. Plans for a hope and a future.
Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, grown inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. – Romans 8