I overslept today. It was one of those moments where my whole day got readjusted because I forgot to turn up the volume on my phone after babysitting a baby last night. I once again had to choose time with God versus activities. It seems the devil would love to rob me of time with God. The devil and random inconvenience. I am not really a “devil made me do it” type of person. Time with God always comes with sacrifice.
My faith sort of shook today. I wondered if God really is love. It is a nice thing to believe all these things. It is nice to believe that giving humans freewill is loving, but what about the people who don’t use their will well? How is it loving to give them a will? I went to the Bible to comfort myself about God, but honestly it felt a little full of judgment for people who don’t want God. Which I suppose it is. The Bible still is so habitually comforting to me that it still felt comforting, but what about everyone who doesn’t choose Him? What about all the people who never hear about Him? What about all the people we never tell about Him? On some level I can understand the people who openly defy Him and attempt to destroy the people around them, but what about the people who are just genuinely lost? They can’t find their way. He is not findable to them because they keep getting caught up in all sorts of lies? What about the people who are trying?
I love God. I really do, but today I wondered about if what I believe is true. It must be, but it is beyond my comprehension.
The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent. – 2 Peter 3:9
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