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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Alone, but only in my imagination

If yesterday was an up day, today was a down day. I felt very alone today and insecure. More insecure than I have in a very long time. I felt alone even when I was with people. But the thing worse than feeling alone when I am with people is feeling alone when I am alone. When I feel alone, I am not feeling God’s presence and I really hate it!

I am really frustrated by the conversations I am having with God and with a few close people to me about God asking me to do “unchristian” things. I am actually not sure I still think the things are unchristian as I think it is unkind to ask me to do them. Unkind = unchristian, so God is being unchristian to me. That is officially me sulking and being irrational. Sometimes following God is really, really hard. No wonder He called it taking up our cross.

I am feeling better tonight, but steps 8 and 9 are really hard!

Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their lifef will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? – Matthew 16:24-26


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