I am having an interesting day. I am still the new person. I still was incredibly awkward. Now the weird part is I might look like the same kind of awkward on the outside, but on the inside it is a whole new story. I also had another real groundbreaking moment of truth in regards to one of the key relationships I struggle with. I realized I was repressing a fact I always knew in my head, I just always repressed the implications of it. It was good to step out of denial. Within the next few hours, I have been able to process so much of the irrationality of that fear.
It is amazing how one cannot process anything when it is in a repressed state. It must just be brought out into the light like Jesus says. He was a big fan of light. I should say He is a big fan of light.
I had the step study where we are working through the step 6 questions tonight. This is the principle I am really working in my life right now. I am excited to move on to the next lesson and have the tough questions in my life every morning again.
I am really ready to move on from Zephaniah and Habakkuk. I do still really love the prayer in Habakkuk. I like the last chapter of Zephaniah, but about this time each week I start reading in Luke where my church’s Bible reading plan is. And in John. Always in John 13-17. Those are to me what Psalms are to many. The place I go when I just need comfort.
The other thought from the day is I need to really learn how to receive love. I am so afraid of love. The next step is working on figuring out and beginning to implement action steps to get out of the character defects I am working on. I feel like rejecting love is a character defect. Hmmm. Action step 1: be honest with the people I am struggling with. Character defect number 2: Fear of being transparent with the people from action step 1. lol
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. – Philippians 1:6