Today was pretty weird. It was actually a really weird day. I had moments of struggle. My whole morning was really a pretty big struggle. At some point I believe in last night’s God time, I realized I just might have a lot of issues with forgiveness and bitterness right now because my expectations of what life would look like after recovery and how other people should treat me and act have been too high. So reality and my idea of utopia do not intersect. That was nice to have the realization. So now I have to learn what reality is. Then the message at church was tied to expectations, which was kind of cool.
I actually did really well during church with connecting and all that, but afterwards I had a time between church and CR when I was just attacked. Some days I have no idea how I put up with myself. I would blame it all on the devil, but honestly my flesh seems to be pretty bullheaded some days.
But then CR was really awesome. It is really good to be with friends. Then I had dinner with friends. Then I came home.
Now I start my crazy week all over again. My life is weird.
And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the LORD is your strength!” – Nehemiah 8:10