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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

A really good sort of weird

I thought a lot today about fighting for people instead of fighting against people. I wonder if it is in everyone’s nature to fight against people or just mine. I spend a lot of time doing it. I always do it accidentally. Generally I am just trying to protect myself or get my way. God and I have frequent conversations about this. I usually retain our talk for a day. Or two. Then move on.

Maybe I should get a ringtone on my phone that says “Fight for me. Fight for me.” Super annoying. It might be helpful. Until it became like the sign above my sink I almost never see anymore. I saw it this morning though, and it was helpful. “Don’t worship people who do not worship God,” it said, “Don’t worship those who do either.”

I just got off the phone with a friend who lives on the west coast. I told her all about my day. It was really good. I told her how the people here love me and how creepy it is. She says eventually as you get used to love the creepiness of it goes away. That is good to know. I cannot say as it was actually creepy. It is more a word I would use to describe the feeling to a friend than a blog. To a blog I would say it is quite wonderful. Definitely odd. Majorly astonishing. Completely confusing.

Last night in small group one of the questions was “Have you ever been forgiven by someone in such a way that it changed your view of God’s love?” I still find it weird to say yes to that question. Because so many people have hurt me in my life in the name of God, I have distanced human actions from my opinion of God and my relationship with Him. People have never been a good representative of Him. Until now. People have loved me in such a way that it has changed me. It has changed my idea of what love can do. So it must have changed my view of what love is. So it must have changed my view of what God’s love is. hmmm

I was going to say I do not think it has changed my relationship with God, but I think what I really mean is I do not think it has changed my standing with God. I was in right standing with God before and viewed myself as such. I am after. I was His precious child before and am after. But I think it is changing the way I interact with God, which would be my relationship with Him. It definitely is changing the way I think and interact with people. All people, not just His church.

Yeah, like I told my friend, it’s weird. A really, really, really good sort of weird though.

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. – John 13:35

We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. – I John 3:14


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