My life is perfect, or so I think today. I have no explanation for exactly how I went from having so many issues last week to having such a good day today and pretty good days the last few days.
It probably has to do with the conversation I have been having with God this week about my life goal to know Him and be known by Him. Always the answer to this question is to focus outward, focus on connecting with those around me. I have only challenged myself to think about the answer to the question, not necessarily actually do the answer to the question. But I have found myself choosing to interact with people on the street. It is good.
Each week at CR we write down something from the evening that we can apply to our own recovery that we learned that night. Maybe the next step is praying about it. The next step is never taking control of it because that is the opposite of recognizing our lives have become unmanageable. Writing it down helps us retain what we hear and talk about week to week.
My note card from last night is not with me right now, but what it says is something that has a lot to do with my amazing day. I actually had a conversation with God about it a few days ago, but it fit very well into the POWERLESS acronym.
I have to be willing to let go of my pride and my desire to appear competent in order to heal in my relationships with men and more specifically to enjoy loving them and being loved by them. As I write this tonight, I realize it was my pride and my desire to be competent that made me so disastrously incompetent anyway. It is amazing how the longer I walk through the steps, the more obviously true the Bible is.
For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. – Luke 9:24