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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

A little bit farther

It appears the theme for the week is taking no thought about tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of itself. Today I worried about tomorrow on some level all day. But because it was not about finances, it never occurred to me that I was doing it until tonight. It is all about me not quitting one of the commitments I supposed to have quit. I am over-committed right now and going in too many different directions. Oh well, this too shall pass.

I think that is the only thing of significance that happened today. I spent a lot of time reading theology and leadership material. I have decided two things when it comes to leadership and how I should practice this in my life. 1.) I do not know anything and I have no idea what I am doing. 2.) The experts all disagree with each other. I can just decide to believe whatever I want and then find an expert to back me up.

I think I will just follow Jesus instead of that last one though. Then it won’t matter if I do not know what I am doing. Honestly, I have come to the conclusion I do not want people following me anyway, I want them to follow Jesus, which is what CR is all about anyway. That is why it is modeled so carefully to prevent codependent relationships.

I know this post sounds sane, but I am actually just about ready to fall apart emotionally. Today I thought it quite possible I will actually make it through this holiday season in one piece. Oddly enough I also was very nervous around people. Like weird shaky nervous, jittery. I guess I was going to have to get real sometime. It just might be during these holidays.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11

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