I am exhausted, but I want to keep working instead of going to bed. I can hardly think, but surely I can write coherently. If I try hard enough, at least editing should be viable. Nope, time for bed. I must be having fun in life because lately I do not want to go to bed.
It was a good day. Really, really hard for the first few hours this morning. I was pessimistic and moody. I kept giving in to the negative voices in my head. I pulled out of it a little. I just cannot remember how. Then there was a great big huge “There is a God in heaven” moment. Suddenly, my critical spirit fled. I was able to write most of the day without having to fight it.
Then walking home from my sitting job tonight I thought about problem solving without becoming critical. I was amazed that I could do it. I hope I can in the future also.
Tonight I am wondering if the price I am paying to live my life will be worth it. What if giving up everything to follow Him really isn’t worth it? What if I give up everything for nothing? What if I am a fool for doing so? I guess I will die a happy fool.
But tell me this—since we preach that Christ rose from the dead, why are some of you saying there will be no resurrection of the dead? For if there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, then all our preaching is useless, and your faith is useless. And we apostles would all be lying about God—for we have said that God raised Christ from the grave. But that can’t be true if there is no resurrection of the dead. And if there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ has not been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, then your faith is useless and you are still guilty of your sins. In that case, all who have died believing in Christ are lost! And if our hope in Christ is only for this life, we are more to be pitied than anyone in the world. – I Corinthians 15:12-19