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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

A future worth looking forward to

I am sad because the Romans Bible study has ended, and it was so amazing. I am not sad it was amazing. I am sad it ended. I am usually sad when amazing things end. I am not sad when un-amazing things end. Sometimes that happens, too. I laughed a great deal today. Over things that are only probably funny. But I am finding a lot of things really hilarious. Probably important with all the crap I am facing in my personal journey.

If one is going to uproot as many core lies as I have in my life right now, one will feel somewhat uncomfortable while doing it. At least this one will, and my counselor tells me to expect it. The brain doesn’t like positive change, she says. It is resistant to it. So I decided my brain must be part of the old nature because it clearly isn’t a part of what is already redeemed, so I should just not listen to how anxious it wants to be and decide to follow God no matter how upset it gets. And because I am making such a super hard choice right now to engage truth in a real way and not just fake it, I am likely to experience a lot of anger and anxiety. I try not to think about it, which is kind of like suppressing the truth. Because it isn’t my anxiety that I try not to think about, but rather the truth that I try not to think about because it causes anxiety.

So that is me. Such tiny dot on such a long timeline. I sure do look forward to the rest of my existence. Every single day, I can choose to know Him more. Then one day, I will go home to Him. That’s a future worth looking forward to.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. – Romans 8


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