Saturday – 12:45 AM
Transparency is starting to get to me. I woke up this morning and thought, “I should have this conversation today. Like in the next three hours.” So I decided I shouldn’t do anything rash. I should have my quiet time first. I did, and I still decided to have the conversation. Now that is either progress or it is crazy or maybe it is just crazy progress.
I had a quite calm day actually. I got a fair amount of work done with little anxiety, which was surprising because of the conversation. I don’t always expect to go out on limbs and feel okay about it while doing it. I have always either been too dependent on people’s opinions or too lacking in trust to go out on limbs. Let alone feel sane while doing it.
I came up with a short-lived philosophy today that the only thing anyone could technically give away is time. If you give someone a bouquet of wildflowers, you are giving them the time it took to pick them. If you give someone a smile, you are giving away the time it took to think about someone else instead of yourself and smile. My theory got all kinds of holes blown in it tonight when someone said, “What about if you inherit money and give that away?” Trying to make that fit into my philosophy became really tricky. So I have abandoned the philosophy after a mere 10ish hours.
CR was good tonight. It was good to talk about my week.
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