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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Lean

I do not really have very much to say today. My life has gotten so much less dramatic, which is a good thing. I had a very hard time being excited this morning. I tried so very hard. I was still having a hard time coming off yesterday’s conversation about why God didn’t just kill of Adam and Eve. It seems like the merciful thing to do. Like putting down a horse with a broken leg. Maybe mercy never is death no matter what the situation is.

I struggled during quiet time this morning to concentrate. I have also been too lazy again to consistently quiet time with God after I blog. When I started this blog, I used to have a scheduled quiet time at night. Now often by the time I am done writing, I close my computer, brush my teeth and go to bed. I sleep better and am more rested in the morning when I don’t.

My quest for why Paul didn’t burnout continues though I have not yet made it to the end of Romans. I keep rereading things. Some mornings like this morning, I barely make it to that part of my quiet time. I just read somewhere else instead. I like John 13-17 really well. Some people go to the Psalms for comfort, I go to Jesus last words before His death. I love it. I also love that John didn’t just identify himself as the disciple Jesus loved, but also focused on love in all his writings.

One of the things I am thinking about today and tonight is how God wants me to learn to depend on Him and follow Him. He gives me all these people along the way, but ultimately I don’t lean on their understanding or my understanding. I need to lean on God’s understanding. I don’t think they are usually the same. All it takes is a glance at the Beatitudes to realize it.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. – Matthew 5:3-12

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