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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Kept

I’m just so happy! Sometimes I feel like God is holding out on me with provision. Sometimes I think I am behind the eight ball on following Him. I have missed a turn or a timing. I have some of that feeling recently. When I get this, I always just ask God to retell me what to do now, so I can follow closely again. I like to follow closely.

I have told you about my Grampa and the back of the pickup truck analogy, right? I want to sit right up next to the cab, so I know I won’t fall out. No sitting on the tailgate tempting temptation to win me over. That is for days gone by. Jesus is like a romance, so much sweeter the closer the couple is.

At least momentarily, I am back to trusting Jesus with my finances. I have been a bit worried about it recently. Now you must understand there is a difference between what I would term worried or mistrusting now and 18 months ago when I began this ridiculous lifestyle. 18 months ago when God asked me to quit my career job, scared met I was breaking from freelance computer work in the middle of the day because I was too terrified to continue and I would be on my hands and knees trembling just begging God to give me the strength to follow/trust Him and leverage everything. Now when I get slightly worried, I engage the question of whether I am being responsible more than get afraid I am going to be destitute.

Today I accidentally engaged someone who doesn’t know quite why I live my lifestyle in a conversation about my jobs/finances. Engaging in this conversation made me realize how odd my life is and perhaps also my perspective.

The thought crossed my mind today (as it has every few months or so), I just can’t keep living this way. This has to end soon. Then I wondered why. God has taken care of me in a miraculous way for the last 18 months. Why would I think He won’t keep doing it? All I have to do is what He is asking me to do today. I don’t have to worry about how long He is going to keep asking me to do it. I can live in the moment. After all, that is what Jesus asked me to do.

“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of Godd above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:24-34

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